After breaking up with serina, the woman i loved insanely and I guess scared a little though she knew everything,
About the love I had for her and realised how serious it was, she went
And another arrived, out of nowhere, without invitation.
She was 6 years older than me, experiencing the most beautiful age. 28. She looked very young, pretty, around 5.6 tall, slim and had a good figure.
One day she invited me to her house to drink and have chat, she was living alone, in a small studio flat, with one cat, a pussy. I like cats but her cat was annoying, she was an absolute bitch, I mean the cat
Anyhow, we started to drink, it was white wine, 9pm
She drank out of loneliness, she wanted time to pass quicker, she didn’t knew how to drink. It didn’t matter,
After 5 6 glass of wine she got drunk, and never stopped talking,
“I know that I am beautiful, and there is none who wouldn’t go to bed with me” she said
I laughed inside, it was fun
I didn’t show it though,
“Why is that?” I asked
She started to play with her hair as she carried on talking,
She looked at the mirror laughed at herself
“Can’t you see this beauty, thank god I’m beautiful, everyone, every man would go to bed with me”
“How do you know this?” I said
“I’m sure there are many man out there who wouldn’t”
“I won’t”
She stared at me, strongly for few seconds and I stared back at her, I didn’t moved my eyes away from her eyes, I had courage, because I meant what I said,
She then looked away and
“But most men would and it happens, my closest male friends did, it was upsetting”
I didn’t said anything and went for a piss,
When I came back I realised my glass was full again and asked did you fill it again, she said yes,
I needed alcohol it was good, she didn’t know how to drink and it was ok for her to finish 3 litres of wine
And when you don’t know how to drink
You never realise the beauty of getting drunk you usually get drunk and always say that you are not drunk, which is a sign of weakness. As we drunk our wines we talked and she kept pushing me to fuck her, or she tried winning something, that didn’t matter to me,
So I decided to fuck her on that first night of meeting. It was a chance that gods had offered me, to soften my life, to remind me of life back again, which was full of surprises, bad and good ones. We kept drinking and she talked less but her stares got much longer, sometimes she didn’t said anything and looked right in my eye for almost minute and half, her eyes talked more they didn’t said anything but meant a lot, and she knew how to act when you Were fully aware of your own self, she was 28 years old woman. It felt much better to chill with a woman who was much older than you are, she didn’t had anything to loose.
We both got drunk, but I wasn’t sure if I should tried anything or not, i didn’t wanted to show any confusion,
I decided not to do anything,
She decided to play and push
More and more
And I accepted this, eventually I was going to fuck her because her game that she played could turn into a serious act and it all depended on me,
I stayed calm and changed all the rules, slowly
I knew my stupidity too at this point.
Another half hour passed and everything remained the same about her,
Her eyes,
Long stares,
Less talking,
I went for a piss, came back and smoked a cigarette, she didn’t smoked at all but asked for few tokes,
I passed it to her, she didn’t picked up and smoked it from my hand,
One toke,
Without inhaling it properly,
I smoked the rest and put it away,
Looked at her and kissed her, she kissed back,
I slowly went on her while still kissing, it went on for a minute or two,
Suddenly
“What are you doing?” She said,
” what is this”
“I’m kissing you”
She stopped me
I stopped
I guess she won
And made me realise my stupidity,
I felt stupid,
I apologised, and sat still,
Nothing was changed for her,
She felt better and much in control,
We kept drinking more,
And finished the whole 3 litres of wine,
Then she wanted herself, everything.
I wanted it too.
We went in bed,
2 months has passed since than and she comes around mine, cooks
Washes my clothes,
Dishes,
Cleans my house,
Buys my alcohol while she’s over,
And I fuck her, still.
Tag Archives: sex
wise enough to ignore love ( stupid enough to experience it )
I was in bed with her,
fucking her around 1 am,
and she seemed dead
she seemed so dead that i came pretty quickly,
and she turned her back,
and looked for her phone,
i lied down on my back,
smoking,
thinking nothing,
and she started to play with her damn phone,
i lift my head up to see what she was doing,
in my bed,
with her phone,
and she was with lion
in my bed,
texting him and sending her pictures,
and a broken heart,
she was in my bed,
but she was with someone else,
her mind was with him,
i felt sick
and promised myself to never
fall in love again..
just like her..
If you forget me
5:20 am
On my way to work,
I told you
Its hard,
Harder without you.
When all those memories of us
Of you,
plays in my mind, on repeat
And I watch them
Looking empty into distance
The night is cold
And the sky is stary
People tired
Some are dead
Like you’re lies
That I listened
With a broken joy
And you,
Changing your mind
Like this weather of Britain
Hourly
I know its not funny
Though it is funny
How you never observed yourself
But watched and recorded
My bad side s
Into your brain
And always told me that I dont understand you
I do
I do
But do you?
6 months of laughters and tears
A battle
Drunkeness
Love,
In bed outside bed
And me cooking for you
And watch you gaining weight
Little by little
And kiss you
Day and night
I know you love me
Because I know you
But if stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
But
If you think about me
At nights when you put your head on your pillow
If you feel like texting me,
And knowing of im still alive
And if you regret the way you walked out of my life again
Dont worry
Im different now
And these are the last thoughts of you
Ardic AGUS 2014
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Somewhere Over The Rainbow
listen to some classical music,
face your emotions,
face yourself
face to face,
watch some shits,
listen more music,
sleep after 4 am.
wake up after 12,
drink beer,
drink more beer,
get some wine,
finish it,
go out to get some more wine,
talk little,
talk more inside,
argue with the closest
argue with yourself after,
be nice,
be kind,
expect others to be kind,
get hurt,
get judged,
thats normal,
think normal,
think crazy
inside,
one room,
smoke in the kitchen,
type at nights,
drink beer,
go out sometimes,
and drink more,
with women
if possible,
if not, alone.
take it easy,
there is still some time,
just work,
for it.
too much philosophy
needs too much time,
you will think once you dead,
life is alive.
© 2013 Ardic Agus
Touching each other
There he has lying next to her,
and her leg was on top of his leg,
sleeping in loneliness,
but sharing their energy,
in one room,
and nothing else,
the bed sheet was too long for the bed,
it was all on the floor,
like her tears,
like her hair
hanging down,
and she was trying to hold on
to her emotions,
and she never let go,
until this poem ended
© 2013 Ardic Agus
Naked girl on her bed
She was lying down on the bed,
her eyes was open
looking directly into emptiness,
it felt like she was seeing things,
maybe she was seeing her mind,
in to the emptiness,
naked,
her arms was open,
pointing south and the west,
and her leg was on top of her other leg,
the bed was looking old,
just like her feelings,
she was looking good in the bed,
like a painting,
and the darkness was right on top her head,
where light didnt reach,
i looked at her,
and just like her,
i felt empty,
there was nothing between me and her
just thoughts,
just a love which we never shared,
we never knew each other.
© 2013 Ardic Agus
On and on
as the sound of a trumpet
builds up in my ear,
like the sound of ocean waves,
but more melodic and human wise,
like a women screaming on your bed,
forced by your body,
your energy,
and your thoughts,
like a scream,
that you can only hear it once in your life time,
only once,
unique,
full of style,
full of personality,
once,
ear,
you,
and I,
no more repeat,
no more
reality,
no more minutes,
it born’s and dies,
in a second,
faster than anything,
speed of light,
© 2013 Ardic Agus
Just a place to waste time
when you spent enough amount of time
in solitude, by chance or no chance,
you understand that,
there is nothing here to do or say,
but just wasting time,
either by drinking or fucking,
and you drink and fuck,
and some cant even drink or fuck,
they get confuse about life,
and the easiest way to escape is, working hard enough to earn enough
amount of money to look after them self and
they get married, and have children, and
they die, without even knowing why they were here at the first place,
terrible, terrible thing to do,
my angel like father is died on the day i was born..
he is 44 years old now.
Mind vs Mind
Poetry fight,
war between two minds,
feels better than sex
or masturbating
or fingering a cunt,
but drinking,
alcohol is a gift
to a mankind
only escape,
only tool,
for the ones who has brains
and the guts
woman is magic,
when you combine with
alcohol,
tragedy
like the words,
feels like a virus from outer space,
you talk
you become dumber
you talk to yourself,
you seem dumber but
you will be come
Socrates
Dirty Realism 