Through her i met god
Through her i gave birth to lost memories and feelings
Closer to death, truth
Through this short time of madness
I arrived to myself, and saw
Now, certain of many thoughts
Walking towards myself with myself
Alone.
Without hope, without fear.
This mind remembered again many thoughts
Which were gone for long
After this heart fell into her life
Sudden.
This heart once more felt her heart beating within
And this heart stopped but still living
Through her beatings
Through her happiness
With her
Forever. Funny.
What is the difference now
You and god
When i love and couldn’t touched you
I have never come closer to you
Or touched
Just like the way God exists in my life
I was 8
And my awareness was building
And my awareness was building for god
Which i prayed to be with you
Now i am 22 and praying to be with you
Are you death?
Or am I supposed to be with you in the eternity?
If life is a lie
And my love is true
I shall meet you in heaven
I shall seek you there and find you
And maybe
Only like that we will be
Patience my son patience
Patience is what you need to grow up
Patience is what you need to live and patience is the ultimate death
While having some peace
Patience is secret
It is life and nature
It is gods way of being a god
When love is killing you patience will keep you going
Patience is stronger than love
Patience is bigger than you and life
Patience is a teacher
That will make you a teacher
To yourself
And you will write
Just for yourself
Patiently
Without touching or changing anyone
And anything
Patience will bring something new
It is his duty
Be patient
The sun will rise
The flowers will bloom
And you will be surrendered with such smell and beauty
And your fire will calm
If pain comes at your door
Welcome it
If suffering is sitting next to you
Put it on your lap
Eat it little by little and let it go into your heart
Heart fills with suffering,
Call yourself a lucky one
For god has chosen you to experience all this plus life itself
If your life is not like others
Decent or normal
How beautiful!
See the beauty and treasure that you have
Know that not many people are experiencing this much,
Say how lucky i am
That i had a chance to live this emotions
And if you are mad enough
Have courage to call yourself divine
i ask my heart if he is deserving this
He is silent, in pain
I ask my brain to stop thinking,
And he wont listen
I ask myself why
Why all this, again once more.
And there is no shame
No regret
But all is pain and sadness
All is vain
And there is just big emptiness
I found myself sitting in the center
Alone
Thiughtful
Trying to understand myself
Trying to understand my heart
But he is busy with its own pain
Im trying to understand my brain
But he is busy too
What is left is my soul experiencing divine feelings
And feels lucky
Sad
Alone
do not make the mistake
And accept loves offer
Love if you are going to love
But know that she is not yours
And her words are not true
And what is happening is not true
But its love
Know that it will end sooner or later and dont believe
Love
Is a lier
If you are going to love and you dont want to lose anything
Love something else more than your lover and carry on walking like that
Let her know that shes not the only one
Let her know that you love her but you love something else more than her
Let her believe
And believe
In that way she will be yours trying to make you love her more and more than anything
Dont be a fool
true love is only in mens heart
A mens heart has it all, too much too little
Women’s heart can not love
The true love
Men can love better, it is in men’s nature
Women is just here to experience this
While men is dying,
While men is loving
Suffering, thoughtful
Silent
A life based on mistakes
And little note taking, a life based on observations that leads to questioning
More divine than socrates or plato or any other mind who lived with no distraction, with less things going on
And i
Live in here where too much is going on but without a soul
Or a true style
And no questioning,
And men do not think anymore
And woman cares only of herself
Which makes a man a dog or a monster
I live under the shadow of the old masters
My face is illuminated by them and im walking backwards into tomorrow
With so much pointless ballshit in my mind
Plus you
My heart was furious
And my mouth never stopped
It said nothing but moved a lot
And the listener was shocked
There was no meaning but intensity
Of my on suffering while being very much alive, while still dreaming
Without a meaning
And she was observing
Speaking a little but telling me to speak.
Idle.
And i spoke nothing but love
For her eyes
Her mouth
And the memories
Which is older than half of my age today
A seeker of wisdom is a fool
Because as the masters said
Ignorance is blissful
Ardic agus
Dirty Realism 