Tag Archives: wine

everything is ok

7 months with her,

then she got pregnant,

and hated me,

which i never understand why,

lack of love

i thought,

is the only answer for me to forget her,

but

not easy,

and my friend jack,

who i went to same uni,

same class,

did art together,

and smoked..

is now going to be a dad

in couple of hours,

the woman i was with

without thinking,

without speaking,

without hearing,

listening to me,

made her mind,

and had an operation,

now I’m at jacks,

he is in the hospital,

I’m drinking,

and waiting for death,

as usual,

he is waiting for the new life

to arrive..

and as i write this,

i remember the days

when we use to tell each other,

“man, one day we both going to have kids,

and you are going to be uncle jack”

and we use to laugh and move on,

now its happening,

father jack,

with her baby daughter,

and i am, thinking of the woman,

and my baby,

that I’m never going to hold,

lets drink more wine.

Love in a mess

I am a mess,

and sometimes a dirt,

its not hard to tell once you are in my room,

you can see my mind here,  and a personality

that maybe belongs to me,  though im not sure yet

there is women here,

that turned into wine bottles,

some lying on the floor,

some are on the radiator,

under a yellow light,

sharing a space with

unfinished canvases,

dried paints,

and the smell of a spirit,

there is some love here,

and some pain,

but love is more stronger than the pain,

because of her,

her smell, on my pilow

and sometimes i see her hair,

on my bed,

and her form appears

from nowhere

alive

then goes again,

until she visits me

the next time.

 

Ardic Agus 2013

The night i was going to die

It was 12 o clock,

and i was drinking this cheap wine,

like an old plant needed a water

on an empty farm,

on its own,

I was sweating

and there was a pain on my chest,

I took one big sip,

and put the glass down,

to concentrate on the pain,

and it grew bigger

the more I concentrated on it,

the bigger i got,

I started to sweat a lot,

then i did something,

i went on her profile,

for no reason or what so ever,

and saw a photo of her,

wearing a dark claret red dress

and dark red lipstick,

it was one of her favorite colour,

she lost weight

i thought,

I looked at the photo

for 5 minutes or so,

then felt sick,

I wanted to focus on the pain again,

but it wasn’t there

what a bitch..

© 2013 Ardic Agus