7 months with her,
then she got pregnant,
and hated me,
which i never understand why,
lack of love
i thought,
is the only answer for me to forget her,
but
not easy,
and my friend jack,
who i went to same uni,
same class,
did art together,
and smoked..
is now going to be a dad
in couple of hours,
the woman i was with
without thinking,
without speaking,
without hearing,
listening to me,
made her mind,
and had an operation,
now I’m at jacks,
he is in the hospital,
I’m drinking,
and waiting for death,
as usual,
he is waiting for the new life
to arrive..
and as i write this,
i remember the days
when we use to tell each other,
“man, one day we both going to have kids,
and you are going to be uncle jack”
and we use to laugh and move on,
now its happening,
father jack,
with her baby daughter,
and i am, thinking of the woman,
and my baby,
that I’m never going to hold,
lets drink more wine.